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PaXoThu 11th Sep 2008 4:27pm
SGLP: 100
Posts: 838 (0.73 a day)
Reputation: 12 
Got bored @ work and found this on a website, quite good, well the kind of joke andeh will laugh @ xD
Quoted........
A woman sat on a plane heading for New York, when the pilot announces that because of difficulties with the plane's engines, he must make an emergency landing.
The woman, fearing that this may be the end of her life looks over to a man sitting next to her and rips her shirt and bra off, and throws herself on him. "Make me feel like a woman again!" she screamed.
So the man rips his shirt off and hands it to her. "Iron this."
The woman, fearing that this may be the end of her life looks over to a man sitting next to her and rips her shirt and bra off, and throws herself on him. "Make me feel like a woman again!" she screamed.
So the man rips his shirt off and hands it to her. "Iron this."
Edited by PaXo on 11/09/08 4:27pm
mty
willyfantasticThu 11th Sep 2008 4:42pm
SGLP: 200
Posts: 1944 (1.51 a day)
Reputation: 21
wats the difference between amir khan and a rustlers?
about 6 seconds
about 6 seconds
Thu 11th Sep 2008 5:18pm
SGLP: 212
Posts: 2735 (2.15 a day)
Reputation: 20
A boy walks into his mums bedroom and says "mum, grandma has a prawn."
Mum replies "What prawn?" and goes into grandmas room to find a naked grandma.. she then says "That's not a prawn, thats her clitoris"
The boy replies "...well it tastes like a prawn"
--
This bloke went and bought the new olympic condoms, went home and told his wife he's gonna use the 'Gold' one tonight he thinks.. She replies "Why don't you use the silver one and come second for a change"
Mum replies "What prawn?" and goes into grandmas room to find a naked grandma.. she then says "That's not a prawn, thats her clitoris"
The boy replies "...well it tastes like a prawn"
--
This bloke went and bought the new olympic condoms, went home and told his wife he's gonna use the 'Gold' one tonight he thinks.. She replies "Why don't you use the silver one and come second for a change"
VanceThu 11th Sep 2008 6:01pm
SGLP: 125
Posts: 4290 (3.41 a day)
Reputation: 75
heres my joke
OOBIE
LOL
OOBIE
LOL
Thu 11th Sep 2008 6:04pm
SGLP: 100
Posts: 446 (0.41 a day)
Posts: 446 (0.41 a day)
Reputation: 6
A little boy is walkin down the road with his dad and see's two dogs having sex in the road, he says to his dad, "daddy what are they doing?"
"making puppies" replies his dad.
A few days later the boy walks in on his mum and dad having sex, he says to his dad "daddy what are you doing?!"
"making babies" replied his father.
The boy replies..."Right well flip that bitch over i'd rather have a puppy!"
Made me giggles anyways...
"making puppies" replies his dad.
A few days later the boy walks in on his mum and dad having sex, he says to his dad "daddy what are you doing?!"
"making babies" replied his father.
The boy replies..."Right well flip that bitch over i'd rather have a puppy!"
Made me giggles anyways...
Edited by mty on 11/09/08 6:04pm
r0ss
thc^Thu 11th Sep 2008 6:18pm
SGLP: 103
Posts: 458 (0.54 a day)
Posts: 458 (0.54 a day)
Reputation: 4
What do you call a Dinosaur that eats vindaloo curry ?
A MEGASOREARSE
A MEGASOREARSE
andeThu 11th Sep 2008 6:22pm
SGLP: 100
Posts: 4301 (3.37 a day)
Reputation: 66
LOL PAXO. made me LOL hard
Thu 11th Sep 2008 6:26pm
SGLP: 100
Posts: 446 (0.41 a day)
Posts: 446 (0.41 a day)
Reputation: 6
thc^ said...
What do you call a Dinosaur that eats vindaloo curry ?
A MEGASOREARSE
A MEGASOREARSE
Thought it was, what do u call a gay dinosaur?
Mega-sore-arse?
Thu 11th Sep 2008 6:31pm
SGLP: 101
Posts: 1562 (1.95 a day)
Reputation: 20
Robinho has just completed his first training session with his new Man city team mates.
In a press conference afterwards he said..."is blue the away kit?, where was 'Giggsy an' Rooney today?. What the fuck happened to your trophy room?".
In a press conference afterwards he said..."is blue the away kit?, where was 'Giggsy an' Rooney today?. What the fuck happened to your trophy room?".
Thu 11th Sep 2008 7:14pm
SGLP: 4
Posts: 636 (0.5 a day)
Posts: 636 (0.5 a day)
Reputation: 5
Got told by a guy who knew a guy who had these GPS intelligent shoes,yup GPS intelligent shoes they were amazing! as if you were lost they could direct you to where ever you wanted, if you were drunk from a night out they will find you your way home. But also the shoes had a mind of there own see, they were bored 1 day for walking to the bar and back to his house all the time so one day when he was asleep they walked to Amsterdam, and as you can guess he was quite pissed off when he woke up. So he got ride of them but whomever he sold them to they would keep of coming back, he kept on getting rid of them but they just kicked the door down. 1 day they disappeared and found out that they stole a car and drove off a cliff. He was really upset about this even though he didn't want them anymore, he even saw a psychologist about it, he said it would be alright you know because shoes have soles you see.
Edit - new joke aswell
Three men are traveling in the Amazon: an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottish man.
They get captured by a fierce tribe of Amazons.
The tribe chief says to the Prisoners, The tribe leader tells them “You will be whipped 20 times for entering our territory on our holiday, but will be let go free after. Also as this is our special holiday I will give you 1 wish that we can grant before hand to put on your back.”
The Scottish responds, "I will go first, I will take nothing!, I will take my punishment like a real man!"
So he boldly stands up and takes the 20 lashings, at the end he has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move, while crying like a baby.
The Irishman responds, “I will go next but I will be smart, put a pillow on my back” The Irishman gets a pillow and gets the lashings by the 10th the pillow breaks and gets another 10 lashings, and cries off.
The tribal chief says “As you are last and come from a great country I will give you 2 wishes” The Englishman says “Well thank you, and as well as giving me 2 wishes, I will wish for 100 more lashes and strap the Irishman to my back.
Edit - new joke aswell
Three men are traveling in the Amazon: an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottish man.
They get captured by a fierce tribe of Amazons.
The tribe chief says to the Prisoners, The tribe leader tells them “You will be whipped 20 times for entering our territory on our holiday, but will be let go free after. Also as this is our special holiday I will give you 1 wish that we can grant before hand to put on your back.”
The Scottish responds, "I will go first, I will take nothing!, I will take my punishment like a real man!"
So he boldly stands up and takes the 20 lashings, at the end he has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move, while crying like a baby.
The Irishman responds, “I will go next but I will be smart, put a pillow on my back” The Irishman gets a pillow and gets the lashings by the 10th the pillow breaks and gets another 10 lashings, and cries off.
The tribal chief says “As you are last and come from a great country I will give you 2 wishes” The Englishman says “Well thank you, and as well as giving me 2 wishes, I will wish for 100 more lashes and strap the Irishman to my back.
Edited by NiNjAA on 11/09/08 7:34pm
randaThu 11th Sep 2008 7:27pm
SGLP: 8
Posts: 1098 (1.71 a day)
Reputation: 12
should be soles* as there shoes its the way you do it in jokes
Thu 11th Sep 2008 7:32pm
SGLP: 4
Posts: 636 (0.5 a day)
Posts: 636 (0.5 a day)
Reputation: 5
Thought it was that way but saying it like Souls, seemed more funnier
DaveKThu 11th Sep 2008 8:19pm
SGLP: 121
Posts: 4292 (3.87 a day)
Reputation: 81
How are a plum and a rabbit alike?
They're both purple, except for the rabbit.
They're both purple, except for the rabbit.
Thu 11th Sep 2008 8:21pm
SGLP: 113
Posts: 169 (0.24 a day)
Reputation: 5
Old married couple living on the countryside, sitting by the breakfast table:
Her: "Peter. I think I might move to the big city".
Him: " The big city, what for?"
Her: "Well, in the red light district I can make a 100 pounds a shag. Instead of just giving it free to you".
The man nods and goes upstairs. He comes back down with a couple of suitcases containing her belongings.
Him: "Here you go darling. I am really looking forward to seeing how you are going to live on 200 pounds a year"
Her: "Peter. I think I might move to the big city".
Him: " The big city, what for?"
Her: "Well, in the red light district I can make a 100 pounds a shag. Instead of just giving it free to you".
The man nods and goes upstairs. He comes back down with a couple of suitcases containing her belongings.
Him: "Here you go darling. I am really looking forward to seeing how you are going to live on 200 pounds a year"
Edited by Scud.nor on 11/09/08 8:22pm
Thu 11th Sep 2008 8:26pm
SGLP: 114
Posts: 1134 (0.94 a day)
Reputation: 18
two men walk into a bar, would have thought the second bloke would of seen it
Thu 11th Sep 2008 8:35pm
SGLP: 100
Posts: 623 (1 a day)
Reputation: 30
Knock Knock
Who there
doctor
doctor who ?
you just said it
....
three tomatoes in the desert which one is a cowboy?
none of them they all red skins
Who there
doctor
doctor who ?
you just said it
....
three tomatoes in the desert which one is a cowboy?
none of them they all red skins
Thu 11th Sep 2008 9:02pm
SGLP: 103
Posts: 458 (0.54 a day)
Posts: 458 (0.54 a day)
Reputation: 4
bowLerX I think that knock knock joke was the first joke I ever heard.
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