Embarrassing confessions?? Lets hear them

how the fuck has everyone shit themselves?! I never have!

its all these stories that begin with 'i was taking these illegal substances' and ends in a shitty mess haha

lmao its so true

I'm not the only one from cheltenham? Wat.

I once spewed on my gf while we were rutting. She slept on the floor with all the duvet and pillows and I slept on the sicky bed naked with a sicky towel to keep me warm. We broke up not long after that.

I think I know the guy you were fighting with, is he called adam?

I went to school with him. Weird

Ahah yeah it is Adam!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At Lan a few years back, I think it was wiredout or something.. Just remember loads of B.O mainly from Neil_M :devil: Anyway, We ended up going out to some club, on the way back outside there were these two polish guys. One of them said something to Zak (Zeerilla) and he went to swing for him... but F.A.I.L.E.D So badly and fell into the shutters of a shop window! Still cant understand how you can miss a right hook, when you're standing 3cm away from a persons face.. . Till this day that will remain one of the funniest things i've ever seen. HAHAHAHAHA!! :E :E :E Ended up with me, Kyle, and mstains getting invovled and banging these polish guys.

Dont think ive ever shit myself like, but ive done some stupid things in my time.

These 2 are the ones that really stand out, both when i was 18/19, im 28 now, i miss the good old days lol.

My sister was getting married on a Sunday and we have a lot family that live in Scotland. So they had all travelled down to Liverpool, was my 2 aunties and uncles, and 6 cousins and they were all staying at our house. All my cousins where older than i was, except for Tommy who was 18 like me. So on the Saturday night my mum gave me some money to go out with tommy round town. So off we went. We ended up in some bar that had just opened called Roadkill. And my mates sister was the manager so she was giving us free drinks all night as it was the bars grand opening, she recommended we get snake bite n black, which is just Lager, cider and black current juice. So come 3am we were obviously a bit drunk, but i was proper destroyed. So we got home, and i was sleeping on the couch as my room was given up for my auntie an uncle. So it gets to about 4am and i wake up and i feel as though im going to explode its that hot, so i end up stripping naked to cool down. The room is spinning like mad, so i then run upstairs completely naked to the bathroom, i spew up in the bath for what feels like forever and my insides are killing me, i look in the bath and all i can see is this purple lump of sick thats dead thick, so for some reason i think ive spewed up my liver or something cause my stomach was proper killing, so i start screaming for help, cause im convinced that im dying, my whole family come running out of their rooms and into the bathroom and im just laying on the floor completely naked rolling on the floor as if im on fire. I woke up for the wedding and ive never been so embarrassed in all my life, just wanted to die.

The other one was, i was with my ex gf, was again 18/19, i was walking her home and we get to this big church and graveyard which is about 10-15mins from her house, we decide wed go for a quickie in the graveyard as it was pitch black and no one was around. So where going at it, when i feel the most excruciating pain the world, im nearly crying, i pull my nob out and its covered in blood, im proper panicing now, i tell my ex to go home but shes trying to convince me to go the hospital. I was too embarrassed to go the hospital, so i just run into the road and flag the nearest cab. Im on the verge of tears, and the cab driver thinks my gfs just split up with me, and hes chatting to me for ages while im sat in the back, scared out of my mind, convinced my nobs about to fall off or something. So i eventually get home after about 15mins of the cab driver telling me theres plenty more fish in the sea. I get in, go straight to the kitchen, turn the light on, get my nob out and check it out, realise ive obviously snapped my banjo string, so cause i was a bit drunk, i decide id clean the wound with some warm water, so i get a pint glass fill it up with warm water and stick my nob in it. Im standing there with jeans and boxies round my ankles and my nob in a pint glass and i look up and my mums just staring at me. And she asks what im doing, had to tell her, and she just burst out laughing and told me its what i deserved for doing it in a church.
Not as bad as some peoples, but at the time they where pretty horrific to me and ive still never lived them down.

rofl mike! those are 2 excellent stories!! especially the liver one hahaha. gotta be a joke in there about 'liver pool' surely ;)

crono i swear that story ended with you all running in and hiding out the back from the police lol i remember you and kyle doing that i swear

some of these stories.

Let's keep this thread alive.

A close friend of mine has managed to save up enough money to move out with his gf in a nice 2 bedroom house. They decided to move around 20 miles away as it's a town inbetween where they work (Newbury, many of you will know this town well, right?), anyway before moving all their stuff in they decide to get the house warming party over and done with. Between the 2 of them they managed to get around 30 of us there, so we all start off at the house, then book x1000 taxi's and head out into Newbury, get really smash, prat-around and come home.

Me and my friend George were one of the last ones to get a taxi back as we wanted to stay out till closing and have a competition to see who could eat the most McDonalds cheese burgers (quid burgers).. anyway, after getting a taxi back suddenly I feel sick walking from the Taxi to their house. So decide to stand outside and get some fresh air with my friend George.

The next morning my friends gf (fellow owner of the house) goes outside to take the bins out to see burger puke all over the nextdoor neighbours NEW 61 plat 3 series white BMW.. turns out they have CCTV.... Yeah, now they know what went on.. my mate thought it would be funny to grab my fingers and ram them down his throat to make me sick, he then pukes all over the BMW while I'm laughing and puking on their drive. He grabs my fingers and chokes himself 3 times, each time puking on the BMW.

We're now disliked, by my friends gf and not welcome back. Youtube CCTV video to follow soon, it's horrid.

----

This weekend, head out into Oxford to meet some friends who now live in Oxford. Turns out they know a group of girls and got chatting to one. Got along really well, so much that I ended up missing the last bus back to where I live at 3am - buses come every 1 or 2 hours depending.

Oh well, not to worry. I decided to stay at their house, and the girls were going back there winner. Spend the 1hour walk home talking to her, got on really well. So we get back to the house, all of us were chatting, I'm sat next to her - on to a winner. She decides to leave to room to get a glass of water.

To which my another one of my mates decided to come up with a drinking game. Whoever could take the other persons fingers down their mouth the whole way without gagging wins.. loser had to down some vodka. We decided to call the game tonsil prode. I go first putting my fingers down my mates throat... then it's my turn. So yeah, she walks back in the room as my friend removes his fingers from my mouth and I end up puking all over my jeans/coffee table... the door slams, and apparently she looked so angry - think I might have been more 'in there' than I realised... fml.

In 2 weeks, I've had my fingers down two friends throats.. is that normal?

haha, first one legend!

ROFL. well i have one, girl walks past my office door as i finish reading with a huge cheeky grin from the barf stories, get a smile back, oops.

This used to be such a good lunchtime read, surely some people have some new stories which have occured over the last 8 months which they can share? come on people, confess!

I'll get it going by a story which happened while I was staying in a youth hostel in Germany. Went with 6 friends to Germany and ended up staying in a youth hostel in Dresden for a festival called BRN, trouble is we left booking so most youth hostels were sold out, but we managed to get into this one hostel but we were all spread out over different rooms; 2 people went in a 4 person dorm, 3 people had their own room 3 person room and 2 people had to stay in the 10 person room, not sure how this was decided but me and my friend Jimbo had to stay in the 10 person dorm with 8 randomers.

When checking in they told us not to turn the lights on in the dorm past 11pm, especially if people are already in the room sleeping or whatever. So to combat this they keyring had a handy little torch on it. Each day different people would be there, so you never knew who was going to be in the room after going out for the day. And as left out belongings in the 3 person dorm with our friends we never had belongings in the room.

Anyway, we all came back really drunk one night (like most nights) and we were completely soaked. Knowing the state we were in for some reason we came to the conclusion that getting undressed in the corridor and sneaking into the room splintercell style was the best solution to prevent us from waking people up. We open the door then stop "fuck it, lets go in naked" both take our clothes off shine the torch and the floor and proceed to stumble to our beds (the room was always pitch black as there weren't any street lights outside or any sort of lighting).. throw my stuff on the floor and jump onto my bed, to be greeted by a scream of a girl, lights go on and I'm there completely naked on the floor as I fell over a chair as she scared my shitless.... she didn't speak a word of English and I managed to luckily prove she was in my bed as I left my PJ's under the pillow.

I was cold, and little Gary got scared, which put me in an even more embarrassing situation.

was this girl fuckable or what?

this thread was epic, must be a few new storys. ill have a think of whats happened in the past 8 months!

Not really, she was one of the reasons Gary ran for cover.

bump, any stories?!?